Saccharine Cyanide

Friday, 14 June 2013

Saccharine cyanide drips from your lips
Caresses my neck, my back, my hips
My clit
The cloying smell clings to my hair
Fills the air
Threatens to suffocate
Here, in this closet you've dragged me back into
Here, where the darkness
That is identical to your soul
Every giggle, every smile, every lick, every nick
Is doused in hate
But hate is just love confused
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
I love that you hate loving me
Because that means you love me. Right?
Well, you do tonight
And at night you love me over and over again
Love everything I've taught you
And I've taught you well
We're breathless
And sweaty
And it's beautiful
But it's dirty
Because you've made me hate you
And I've made you love me
And when I look in the mirror
I don't recognise who I see
The comedown could kill me
But I'm addicted to this pain
As you shoot another sugary reassurance directly into my vein
This isn't me
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?
Your poisonous promises have corroded my spirit
Leaving this desolate shell
Acting up, acting out
Surely I'd be better off without
So when the spark is lit
And the flames begin to lick
And burn this whole fucking mess to the ground
There's an underlying relief
At this forced intervention
Because I don't know if I could have found the strength
Or the desire...
The smashed mirror rearranges
Until I identify my reflection
It's me, but with an improved perception
Weaned myself off of you and your crazy ways
Desperate nights and euphoric days
So when the bad penny rolls around again
Claiming to still love me
It's nothing short of a victory
To be able to decline politely
I'm sorry
This new me is drug-free