Fluff

I've been thinking about sex. Which is funny as I'm not actually getting any at the moment. What started as a dry spell turned into an actual decision to see if I could make it a whole year without any sexy times; I have and still am. It's not for any noble reason, I just haven't found anyone I want to do the wild thing with and not out of any misguided idea that I need to preserve my body or that I will lose the respect of my date if I put out too soon. I don't prescribe to those kinds of restrictive kinds of bullshit attempts to police female sexuality.

I've always been very in touch with my own sexuality, despite attending a girls Catholic school. My mum was always very open about sex; that she has it, that it's not something to be ashamed of. Obviously, when I did start actually 'doing it' I didn't tell her at first (she was devastated) but now we can chat away and weird each other out with tales of the night!

I was that girl who watched Sex and the City and decided as a 15 year old virgin that when I eventually got a boyfriend there was no way I'd be giving head if I wasn't receiving. Samantha Jones was a hero to me, but no more than Charlotte was. Of course, when I was younger I went through stages of calling girls hoes and slags; we have all been conditioned to believe that women who enjoy sex should be 'slut shamed' and are to be looked down on or laughed at. Rightly or wrongly, I would also shout my mouth off about male hoes and men 'not respecting their dicks'. I was a right annoying teenager tbh! I've learned over the years that sex is a private thing and sexuality is not something to be embarassed about or run from. It's something to experiment and have fun with as well as, you know, making babies when the time is right.

People have all kinds of relationships with sex. We all know about people who have had lots of sexual partners who use sex as a crutch, to boost self esteem or as a replacement for real love. I've known people who use sex as power, to control others or to get revenge. I even knew someone who would seek out people who had turned him down when he was younger, who would use his 'fame' to get them into bed later in life; a kind of sexual one upmanship. Obviously not the best reason to get into bed...

Have sex. Don't have sex. As long as you take care of your sexual health and maintain a healthy attitude about why you're having it....enjoy!

I Got Love For You if You Were Born In The Eighties...

Last week, in celebration of bonfire night, my friend Ruth and her partner Dele hosted a bunch of people at their house for a night of all things Autumnal...BUT we had to come in 1980's dress! After stressing myself out and googling extensively, the above was my final outfit, taking into consideration that we would be outside for a lot of the evening.

Most people actually flopped the dress code but Dele and I clearly think we are on an episode of Yo! MTV Raps...

We toasted marshmallows and played with sparklers while eating homemade vegetable soup and wraps around the fire pits in the garden.

And there is always time for a selfie...

Shearling and Shadows

I've always had a tendency to be drawn to the darker sides of life, to the shadows. I'm good at hiding behind a big, bright smile; a useful mask to hide my real feelings. The older I get the more I've realised that the darkness inside of me is just as important as the light, that acknowledging and embracing my sadness and and melancholy doesn't detract from my rainbow fairy-ness!

This shearling however, this brought me smiles and serendipity! Back at my fave car boot sale, I knew there was a regular guy selling shearlings and furs and had said I would buy only if I could find the perfect one at the perfect price. We found the stall and the owner recognised me (as I go back so often). I tried on this coat and it looked great but they were asking for more than my friend had paid when she had bought hers...so I stuck to my guns and left it there. The guy chased after me and said that actually, sometimes it's about matching the right item to the right person and that this coat was made for me...so he was willing to drop the price for me. And so the shearling was mine, all mine!

Chicken Cottage

I tried to get my sister to buy this Chicken Cottage t-shirt we found at a car boot sale for herself, but she bought it for me instead! £2 faux designer, toungue in cheek fabulousness! Thrifting at car boot sales and charity shops turns up the best and most unique items you can find. I won't be seeing anyone else wearing this anytime soon, I'm sure.

I wore it to Chicken Cottage of course...I don't even eat chicken, so I had a veggie wrap.

Oh, and I'm showcasing my new, shorter hair here...finally chopped off a whole bunch of totally destroyed and damaged hair and went for a shoulder grazing 'lob'...I'm loving it so far!