Shearling and Shadows

I've always had a tendency to be drawn to the darker sides of life, to the shadows. I'm good at hiding behind a big, bright smile; a useful mask to hide my real feelings. The older I get the more I've realised that the darkness inside of me is just as important as the light, that acknowledging and embracing my sadness and and melancholy doesn't detract from my rainbow fairy-ness!

This shearling however, this brought me smiles and serendipity! Back at my fave car boot sale, I knew there was a regular guy selling shearlings and furs and had said I would buy only if I could find the perfect one at the perfect price. We found the stall and the owner recognised me (as I go back so often). I tried on this coat and it looked great but they were asking for more than my friend had paid when she had bought hers...so I stuck to my guns and left it there. The guy chased after me and said that actually, sometimes it's about matching the right item to the right person and that this coat was made for me...so he was willing to drop the price for me. And so the shearling was mine, all mine!

Shan the Mannequin

Sometimes, it can feel like I'm a mannequin, what with the career I've chosen. Learning lines for auditions, learning to love and dream of playing characters I never get to play because I don't get the part. Even the day job I have is freelance, so it's often a matter of putting on a bit of a display, looking my best and trying to get work.

What I've learned is important over the years, is finding days or moments that are golden, despite the ups and downs of life, the lack of work, messing up auditions or doing brilliant auditions and still not getting the part because you're too tall or don't look right. I need to find golden days to stop myself feeling like a mannequin.

Dress | Primark

Ballet pumps | Primark

Red bag | Bessie via my Aunt's shop

These photos were taken on a day in central London with my little sister; lunch in Soho square, a wander around Soho, snooping around Carnaby Street and Beyond Retro, milkshakes outside in the sun. A golden day.

Casual Monochrome

Joggers: H&M, £12.99

Turtleneck: Uniqlo, £4.90 in the sale

Fedora: New Look, £15

Boots: H&M (old)

I've definitely been rinsing this hat. And I lived in these super comfy, sweatshirt material joggers with elasticated waistband over Christmas. They hide a multitude of sins! This Uniqlo turtleneck (now half-price in the sale) uses Heattech technology so is warmer than it looks, and made this monochrome casual look.