I've been thinking about sex. Which is funny as I'm not actually getting any at the moment. What started as a dry spell turned into an actual decision to see if I could make it a whole year without any sexy times; I have and still am. It's not for any noble reason, I just haven't found anyone I want to do the wild thing with and not out of any misguided idea that I need to preserve my body or that I will lose the respect of my date if I put out too soon. I don't prescribe to those kinds of restrictive kinds of bullshit attempts to police female sexuality.
I've always been very in touch with my own sexuality, despite attending a girls Catholic school. My mum was always very open about sex; that she has it, that it's not something to be ashamed of. Obviously, when I did start actually 'doing it' I didn't tell her at first (she was devastated) but now we can chat away and weird each other out with tales of the night!
I was that girl who watched Sex and the City and decided as a 15 year old virgin that when I eventually got a boyfriend there was no way I'd be giving head if I wasn't receiving. Samantha Jones was a hero to me, but no more than Charlotte was. Of course, when I was younger I went through stages of calling girls hoes and slags; we have all been conditioned to believe that women who enjoy sex should be 'slut shamed' and are to be looked down on or laughed at. Rightly or wrongly, I would also shout my mouth off about male hoes and men 'not respecting their dicks'. I was a right annoying teenager tbh! I've learned over the years that sex is a private thing and sexuality is not something to be embarassed about or run from. It's something to experiment and have fun with as well as, you know, making babies when the time is right.
People have all kinds of relationships with sex. We all know about people who have had lots of sexual partners who use sex as a crutch, to boost self esteem or as a replacement for real love. I've known people who use sex as power, to control others or to get revenge. I even knew someone who would seek out people who had turned him down when he was younger, who would use his 'fame' to get them into bed later in life; a kind of sexual one upmanship. Obviously not the best reason to get into bed...
Have sex. Don't have sex. As long as you take care of your sexual health and maintain a healthy attitude about why you're having it....enjoy!
